The Silent Struggle of Authenticity: A Therapist's Perspective on LGBTQ+ Identity
As a female therapist and a proud ally, it breaks my heart to witness the deep, often silent struggles of those who feel they must hide their true selves to survive in a society that still, in 2025, struggles to fully embrace the beautiful spectrum of human identity. My practice is a safe space for all, where every person is welcome without judgment.
The statistics paint a devastating picture: I heard recently when listening to ‘We need to talk’ podcast by Paul C Brunson that ‘in the UK 75% of LGBTQ+ people feel the need to hide their sexual identity, 44% of this community have experienced suicidal ideation, compared to 26% of heterosexual individuals’(Benson, 2025). Even more distressing, ‘13% of 18-24-year-olds have attempted to take their own lives in the past year, with LGBTQ+ individuals being more than four times as likely to attempt this than their peers’ (Benson, 2025).
These numbers are not just figures on a page; they reflect real people. I have worked with clients across the gender spectrum; male, female, non-binary, who have faced a lifetime of trauma, addiction, and self-harm, often rooted in the shame and isolation that comes from feeling like they cannot live authentically. They sit in my therapy room, their stories often soaked in decades of pain, confusion, and silence, wondering if they are 'wrong' simply for existing as they are, even in hiding.
Psychotherapy teaches us that shame is a powerful, corrosive force. As Brené Brown, a leading voice in shame research, puts it: ‘Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging’ (Brown, 2012). This is a deeply human wound, yet one that LGBTQ+ people experience at a profoundly amplified level, forced to question their worth in a world that too often tells them their love and identity are somehow less valid.
Carl Rogers, the father of person-cantered therapy, emphasized the importance of unconditional positive regard; the idea that each of us deserves to be valued and accepted for who we are, without judgment or conditions. He believed that ‘the curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change’ (Rogers, 1961). For many LGBTQ+ individuals, this journey to self-acceptance can be a steep and lonely path, particularly when societal rejection or familial disapproval casts long shadows over their lives.
This is why creating truly safe therapeutic spaces is essential. For some, my therapy room may be the only place where they feel seen, heard, and valued without fear or shame. It is a sacred space where authenticity is not just encouraged but celebrated, a place where the pieces of a fractured identity can begin to find their way back to wholeness.
We must do better as a society. These are not just statistics, they are real lives, once innocent children navigating a confusing world, now adults struggling to reclaim their truth. We owe it to them to create a world where living authentically is not a radical act of bravery but a basic human right.
For every client who has whispered their truth to me, for every story shared in the quiet, protective walls of my therapy room, and for every person out there struggling with their identity, you are not alone. You deserve to live fully, freely, and authentically. We all do.
Works Cited
Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Corage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love Parent and Lead. Gotham Books.
Rogers, C. (1961). On Becomming a Person: A therapist's View of Psychotherapy.
Scott, C. (2025, April 22). We Need to Talk. (P. C.Brunson, Interviewer)
